"Fear"

You should watch that entire video. Especially starting at 1:45.....because her vocals are unreal and its my favorite Sarah song ever.

That being said...........


Fear: a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.


We all have fears. Some are of things like spiders, heights or midgets(sorry to all of my little people readers). My fear? Dying. Or maybe dying alone? I don't know. I thought when I got married it would be forever. It wasn't. It is what it is as they say. And honestly looking at it now, and his lack of even giving a shit about my current circumstance, I would rather die alone.

Relationships are never easy. They are challenging. And if they aren't, then you probably are in denial about yours. Add cancer into that equation and it's even more challenging. Obviously from a physical standpoint you wonder:

"Who is going to love me and my scars?"

Cancer doesn't define my life but it is a big part of it. And getting it twice, well, it sucks even more. I don't like dwelling on it or feeling sorry for myself. But when I do feel sorry for myself, I want someone who will feel sorry with me. Whos not going to be afraid to talk with me about it or listen to me bitch. I have the right to bitch. I have EARNED that.

Dating sucks in general. All of you single peeps know this. We have shared our horror stories. Now add cancer twice to the mix? Oi vey. That is another one of my fears: Trust. Putting myself out there, my baggage out there, only to get destroyed. I guess it's a chance you need to take. Because if you don't take chances then what's the point, right?



I bet you weren't expecting a little Abba there did ya? You can thank me later.


Until later-
XOXO
B-