"Stars"

The past few weeks have been tough. Losing our co worker has really bothered me. Saturday was the memorial. Half of our office showed up. I am not going to go into why the others didn't show. My take on it is if you wanted to be there you would have been there. And if you are okay with your decision, then so be it.

Today was our first day back to work since she passed. And I felt like it was just weird. She changed her schedule the last few months and would get to work before me(I was always first one in). Her desk is the first one you see when you enter our office.

Today she wasnt there. It was weird. It made me very sad. We had a staff meeting about it to discuss how we would move forward. She was our billing person so it has basically put the operational side of things in a tailspin. I do not think ANYBODY realized how much shit this woman did on a daily basis. Like the saying goes, you dont appreciate what you have until its gone.

I then come to find out that my friend is still in the morgue. The morgue. They cant afford to bury her. I am not going to go into her personal issues. Those people arent worth my words. But lets just say she deserves much better than this. It makes me sick to my stomach to know that this woman is not being given a proper burial. But this shouldn't come as a surprise if you knew the circumstances that surrounded her life. She gave and gave and got nothing in return. Why should I be surprised?

You cant but help to look at your life. Am I doing what I want to do? Am I happy in my personal life? What if I died tomorrow? Would people come to my memorial? Would they give me a proper burial? What would my legacy be on this planet?

"Here lies Barra. Died at 39. She is survived by her 2 cats. She loved Gunselmans, Sarah McLachlan and Miller Lite"

Not very exciting.


It is time for some changes. Today was a big kick in the ass I needed. Personally and professionally.

Happy 2013-
XOXO
B