"Hallelujah"

Death. Its inevitable. It's never easy. But when it's unexpected its devastating....

In light of the recent tragedy in Connecticut, I didnt want to to a reactionary blog right away when it happened. Everything was too raw and real. After a week, I decided now was a good time. There are no words that could make sense of what happened at that school. We all can point fingers at one particular reason. What we should be doing is pointing fingers at each other. We are the cause of why these things are happening. From the guns to the mental illness to the lack of parenting in this country. Its a deadly combination of these things that causes tragedies like this. And what we do, as a country, is cry about for a few days then move on with our lives. We never come up with a solution to these issues. We just hope they never happen again.

Look I dont know what the answer is. What I do know is that the President needs to begin somewhere. If that means banning ALL assault weapons, it is a start in the right direction. The President is damned if he does and damned if he doesn't. And while we are on the topic of the President, how dare some of you question his sincerity while giving his speech about these children. You are disgusting. You know who you are and I hope you are reading this blog. According to this person, the President was crying fake tears and shouldnt be crying anyways because he's(Obama) pro-choice. I had to read that status update 5 times. There are actual people in this world who think this?? WTF is wrong with you? I am pro-choice. So now I can't cry for these children? My only answer to this was to "unfriend" them on Facebook. We are all allowed to our opinions. However, I am not friends with irrational, morons.

I have been wracking my brain to make sense of this and other tragedies. Last night we lost a co-worker of ours. I have worked with her for over 8 years. She took the world on her shoulders and she paid the price for it. A stubborn woman who loved her family and busted her ass on the job. Who just took on way too much. It saddens me greatly. She was admitted to the hospital on Monday and then on Tuesday night I checked in with her to see how she was doing. She texted me back that she thought she would be back to work in a few days. Then I texted her this:

"You need to take care of yourself. Your health is more important. Without you here we are nothing"

She replied back that it was very nice of me to say that and she appreciated it. 2 days later she was on a ventilator and her family had to make a decision on when to shut off the machine. It is a decision I could never fathom having to make. I take solace that my final words to her were positive but I am struggling to understand how in 2 days things just ended.

I have been very fortunate in my life to not have to deal with death that much. I have dealt with both grandmothers, a grandfather and an aunt passing away in my 39 years on this planet. Now someone who I saw everyday for 8 years is no longer here. I feel horrible for her family to have to go through this and especially during the holidays.

Death is a part of life. It is the sad reality that we will all die someday. We all think it will never happen to us. You just never know when it will happen. I have cheated death twice with my cancer scares. I am fortunate. Both of these two tragedies have made me take a serious look at myself:

What can I do better? How can I help others? How can I make the world a safer place?

I dont pretend to have all of the answers. But each of us need to take serious looks at ourselves in the mirror. Appreciate what you have this Christmas. This is not about what presents you may or may not get. It's about family and friends. Enjoy this time. Others are not so fortunate. Others are having to bury loved ones during this time.

Merry Christmas-
Happy Holidays-
Feliz Navidad-

XOXO-
B