"Physical"

Remember when people thought the above video was too saucy for tv? Some of you reading this are probably too young. But people my age--you remember this right? Compare this to what is on tv now? Its hilarious.

Anyways, been pretty active since the new year. Of course we all indulge a little too much over the holidays. I know I did. Once the holidays were over, I felt like a beached whale. Too much crap consumed. With my surgery being in November, I did have an excuse. Although I was trying to walk 3-4 times a week, I was limited in what I could do on the weight machines. Last thing you want to do is rip something. So I did take it easy until I felt comfortable and had the doctors blessing.

I am feeling great minus the joint pain I am experiencing in my hips and my knees from the Lupron. To get up from my desk at work after sitting awhile, is awful. Hence, another reason I need to stay active. This week I will be at the gym SIX days! WOOT! I love it. I also love when I feel guilty if I dont go. My mantra right now is if I dont have anything going on after work then my ass will be at the gym. I am working out anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour. I like to do 30 minutes of walking, followed by 200 crunches, then I back to walking, then some weights then back to walking. I will sometimes throw the bike in there too for 10 minutes, especially if the track gets too busy. And while I am on that subject.........



When the hell did kids and adults become so oblivious to their surroundings? If you were crossing the street, you would look both ways, correct? So why does the same thing not apply to a track at a gym? I cant tell you HOW many times some idiot just walks out right in front of you without looking. I will warn anybody who does this: I am a big girl. I will mow you down. Women, children, old people...Ok maybe not old people but children for sure. If you have no courtesy for me, I will have no courtesy for you.

Losing weight will be tough for me which sucks. Lupron is a bitch and one of the things it does is screw with your metabolism & make it hard for you to lose weight if not gain. But that will not be an excuse to go out and eat everything in sight. I am being more careful in what I am eating. That is not to say I am not going to go out have a few beers and enjoy some chicken wings. I can tell you that is NOT happening. I will be miserable if I eat basically nothing that I thoroughly enjoy. I am just doing so in moderation.

Hope everyone is doing well!

Have a fantastic weekend and keep warm

XOXO-
Barra

"Hurt"

Pain tolerance. Mine is pretty high. Or so I have been told. However, lately my joints are doing a number on me. One of the lovely side effects of Lupron. It is in my knees and my hips. I have a bum right knee as it is from basketball and this only compounds it. It hurts mostly when I am sitting awhile. And then when I am walking up or down stairs. I am also having a hard time getting comfortable in bed. I pushed on my knee cap and the pain was excrutiating.

I know. Nobody likes a whiner. I am trying to tough it out. I am being very active when it comes to working out. Walking anywhere from 30-40 minutes 4-5 days a week and light weight training. So my workouts are about 45 minutes to an hour. I keep think that if I wasn't working out how would I feel. I probably would not be able to move. Ibuprofen really does nothing for me. Again high tolerance here. I cant do lunges which sucks because my knees cant handle it. As I am typing this my right knee, where I had surgery in high school, is aching.

Today I head to my oncologist for another round of Lupron. Fotunately, the hotflashes & insomnia are tapering off.



I have brought up the pain in my joints before and she said the best thing to do is exercise. I will bring it up again today and see if she has any other suggestions. If anybody has any suggestions, I would appreciate it. Stretching ideas, light exercises, I am open to ideas. Not open to anything that will cost me money though. I just can not afford it.

Happy Hump Day!

XOXO
B-

"Pictures of You"

Its amazing how a phone call can change your mood in a heartbeat. Tonight, after playing phone tag all day, I spoke to the heading of billing at UH. She told me they recoded everything and the medical bill in question will be put through insurance. I felt this massive weight lifted. Although I knew I was right in that it was covered, you always hear these horror stories between people vs insurance companies vs hospitals. I am in no place financially to be able to hire a lawyer and fight something like this. I am so blessed that this was taken care of.

After I got off of the phone, I fired up my laptop to look up a picture I had uploaded from vacation last year. I wanted to get a print of it for my mom. As I was going through files, I came across pictures of when I was in Vegas 2 weeks before my surgery back in 2008. One particular picture is the one below:



I saw it and it made me cry. I remember this dinner fondly. A huge group of us went to Vegas and this was our last dinner right before we came home. And I remember thinking throughout this entire dinner, "I never want this to end. I do not want to go back home".


And when I got home everything fell apart. I came home to my cat of 9 years barely alive. I got off a plane from Vegas and 2 hours later I was euthanizing our cat. Turns out my ex father in law said that morning he came to feed her she was lethargic and not moving. We came to find out she was in kidney failure. I was in a marriage I knew was ending and I was facing a life without one boob, 4 months of chemo, and hell on earth. That picture sticks with me. I think that was the last time I smiled in 2008. It was a dark, dark place for me. It is a year I will never truly forget.

But then I look at the below picture. The one of me and my family in Isle of Palms, SC:



This picture was taken 3 weeks after my surgery in July of 2012. And look I was smiling again even though I went through something that was pretty much awful a second time. Why am I smiling? Why wouldnt I be? I am on this planet. I have great support from family & friends. And I have these two guys:





Very, very fortunate.

XOXO
B

"That's The Fact Jack!"

So I had a bunch of people ask me about the Women’s Health and Cancer Rights Act and what that is all about. I probably should have delved into it a little bit more in my last blog post. That being said, I will in this blog post. I think it is important that this information is out there. I know many of you have dealt with breast cancer personally and/or have a friend or family member who is dealing with it

The Women's Health & Cancer Rights act was passed in 1998. Essentially, this requires most insurance companies who cover a mastectomy, also cover reconstruction. Under the WHCRA, mastectomy benefits must cover:

■ Reconstruction of the breast that was removed by mastectomy

■ Surgery and reconstruction of the other breast to make the breasts look symmetrical or balanced after mastectomy

■ Any external breast prostheses (breast forms that fit into your bra) that are needed before or during the reconstruction

■ Any physical complications at all stages of mastectomy, including lymphedema


Obviously this is a very important issue for women. The first question anyone asks who is diagnosed with breast cancer and has to have a mastectomy is:

WHAT AM I GOING TO LOOK LIKE?


I will fully admit, after my first mastectomy on the right side, I did not look in a mirror for 2 weeks. When I finally did, it was shocking. It literally took my breath away. I won't lie to you. It is not pretty. Although I was going through reconstruction, I did not think what I was looking at would ever look like a boob again. 4 years later, on the right side, I have a silicone implant, nipple reconstruction and tattooing. And it looks pretty damn good all things considered. I am currently going through the same process on the left side now. What really sucks is back in 2009 I had a lift on the left side so my boobs matched(ALL COVERED BY INSURANCE!). Little did I know that lift would be null & void as I was diagnosed with early breast cancer on that side 3 years later.

That is why this act is so important. Even if you have to have a mastectomy, you have the OPTION of having reconstruction and it will be covered by insurance. Sure, some women do not want reconstruction. It is a personal choice.

Hope this sheds some light into a very personal issue for me. If anyone has any questions, my door is always open. Feel free to message me on Facebook or email me at: sarmcl@gmail.com

XOXO-
B

"5678!"

No reason for this blog title other than this song puts me in a good mood and its alot of fun. Especially the breakdown at 1:45. Plus Butterfly Boucher is one of the coolest musicians ever and I have met her which makes it extra cool.

It's Friday. Alot going on in my brain. Let's break it down shall we?

I posted on my Facebook page about a statement I got from Anthem in regards to my surgery in November. I look at the statement and essentially it says that they covered everything BUT $5,500.



Below in the explanation of benefits it said "This is not covered by your plan". What is not covered by my plan??? I immediately check my account with University Hospital and I do not see anything for $5,500. But, I felt I need to nip this in the ass. So I called Anthem. After being on hold for 20 minutes, I got someone. She did alot of typing and told me that the "excess skin removal was not covered" and that "UH filed an appeal in December but it was rejected". Floored, I explained this was part of BREAST CANCER RECONSTRUCTION. Lady--do you think I went in there for a nip and tuck?? I explained I had a mastectomy in June. When they do that sometimes they have to leave excess skin to compensate for the expander. Then they can go back in and clean it up. So while he was in there removing the expander he went in and removed some skin. Ironically, I still have to go back in and have more removed because its not settling properly.

She asked me if I wanted to file an appeal. Does a bear shit in the woods? Of course I do! I explained as a part of the Women's Health & Cancer Rights Act they have to cover this. Back in 2008, when I had a mastectomy on the right side, as a part of reconstruction I had a lift on my left side so my boobs matched. ALL COVERED BY UNITED HEALTH CARE(on a different insurance plan as I was married). Why? Because its the law! She took my statement and said it takes around 45 for an answer.

I then emailed my doctor and included the statement from Anthem. He responded within minutes and CC'd the billing supervisor at UH. I have not heard back yet. I will be following up next week. Like I said, I havent NOT received a bill from UH but I am trying to be proactive. I do not need to get into some battle with insurance and a hospital. That should be between them.

I do know this much--IF UH thinks they are getting a dime from me they are sadly mistaken. I will sic Carl Monday on your asses and you dont want him showing up. Trust me:

GET AWAY FROM ME CARL MONDAY!


Happy Friday everyone! Enjoy your weekend!

XOXO
B

"Stars"

The past few weeks have been tough. Losing our co worker has really bothered me. Saturday was the memorial. Half of our office showed up. I am not going to go into why the others didn't show. My take on it is if you wanted to be there you would have been there. And if you are okay with your decision, then so be it.

Today was our first day back to work since she passed. And I felt like it was just weird. She changed her schedule the last few months and would get to work before me(I was always first one in). Her desk is the first one you see when you enter our office.

Today she wasnt there. It was weird. It made me very sad. We had a staff meeting about it to discuss how we would move forward. She was our billing person so it has basically put the operational side of things in a tailspin. I do not think ANYBODY realized how much shit this woman did on a daily basis. Like the saying goes, you dont appreciate what you have until its gone.

I then come to find out that my friend is still in the morgue. The morgue. They cant afford to bury her. I am not going to go into her personal issues. Those people arent worth my words. But lets just say she deserves much better than this. It makes me sick to my stomach to know that this woman is not being given a proper burial. But this shouldn't come as a surprise if you knew the circumstances that surrounded her life. She gave and gave and got nothing in return. Why should I be surprised?

You cant but help to look at your life. Am I doing what I want to do? Am I happy in my personal life? What if I died tomorrow? Would people come to my memorial? Would they give me a proper burial? What would my legacy be on this planet?

"Here lies Barra. Died at 39. She is survived by her 2 cats. She loved Gunselmans, Sarah McLachlan and Miller Lite"

Not very exciting.


It is time for some changes. Today was a big kick in the ass I needed. Personally and professionally.

Happy 2013-
XOXO
B