"Hallelujah"

Death. Its inevitable. It's never easy. But when it's unexpected its devastating....

In light of the recent tragedy in Connecticut, I didnt want to to a reactionary blog right away when it happened. Everything was too raw and real. After a week, I decided now was a good time. There are no words that could make sense of what happened at that school. We all can point fingers at one particular reason. What we should be doing is pointing fingers at each other. We are the cause of why these things are happening. From the guns to the mental illness to the lack of parenting in this country. Its a deadly combination of these things that causes tragedies like this. And what we do, as a country, is cry about for a few days then move on with our lives. We never come up with a solution to these issues. We just hope they never happen again.

Look I dont know what the answer is. What I do know is that the President needs to begin somewhere. If that means banning ALL assault weapons, it is a start in the right direction. The President is damned if he does and damned if he doesn't. And while we are on the topic of the President, how dare some of you question his sincerity while giving his speech about these children. You are disgusting. You know who you are and I hope you are reading this blog. According to this person, the President was crying fake tears and shouldnt be crying anyways because he's(Obama) pro-choice. I had to read that status update 5 times. There are actual people in this world who think this?? WTF is wrong with you? I am pro-choice. So now I can't cry for these children? My only answer to this was to "unfriend" them on Facebook. We are all allowed to our opinions. However, I am not friends with irrational, morons.

I have been wracking my brain to make sense of this and other tragedies. Last night we lost a co-worker of ours. I have worked with her for over 8 years. She took the world on her shoulders and she paid the price for it. A stubborn woman who loved her family and busted her ass on the job. Who just took on way too much. It saddens me greatly. She was admitted to the hospital on Monday and then on Tuesday night I checked in with her to see how she was doing. She texted me back that she thought she would be back to work in a few days. Then I texted her this:

"You need to take care of yourself. Your health is more important. Without you here we are nothing"

She replied back that it was very nice of me to say that and she appreciated it. 2 days later she was on a ventilator and her family had to make a decision on when to shut off the machine. It is a decision I could never fathom having to make. I take solace that my final words to her were positive but I am struggling to understand how in 2 days things just ended.

I have been very fortunate in my life to not have to deal with death that much. I have dealt with both grandmothers, a grandfather and an aunt passing away in my 39 years on this planet. Now someone who I saw everyday for 8 years is no longer here. I feel horrible for her family to have to go through this and especially during the holidays.

Death is a part of life. It is the sad reality that we will all die someday. We all think it will never happen to us. You just never know when it will happen. I have cheated death twice with my cancer scares. I am fortunate. Both of these two tragedies have made me take a serious look at myself:

What can I do better? How can I help others? How can I make the world a safer place?

I dont pretend to have all of the answers. But each of us need to take serious looks at ourselves in the mirror. Appreciate what you have this Christmas. This is not about what presents you may or may not get. It's about family and friends. Enjoy this time. Others are not so fortunate. Others are having to bury loved ones during this time.

Merry Christmas-
Happy Holidays-
Feliz Navidad-

XOXO-
B

"These Are the Few of My Favorite Things"

I can not believe 2012 is almost over. Time flies when you are having fun, right? Although I had some crappy news this year, I did have a lot of fun and enjoyed many things. I love when people do "Year End" favorites. So I thought it would be fun to do a blog on some of my favorite moments from 2012. It will included everything and anything. From tv to music to vacations to concerts. It's my Top 10 list. Are you ready?


1)Best Concert I attended: I have to go with my girl: Sarah McLachlan in Toledo. I drove 2 hours there to see her and 2 hours back then had to be up for work. I am the true definition of a fan. Although I have never met her, it is my goal in life to do this. She will be touring in 2013 and I am putting this goal at the top of my list. To see Sarah with a live orchestra was incredible. The Toledo Zoo Amphitheatre is quite amazing. Amazing sound there. If you ever get a chance to see a live show there, I highly recommend it.




2)Best CD: I have to go with Pink here and "The Truth About Love".



You know how some cd's have songs you are luke warm on? Not this one. I love this cd front to back. One of those you just put it on and let it go. I seriously can not wait to see her in Columbus in March. I think this show is going to blow us away. Favorite songs include: Slut Like You and The Great Escape. If you haven't purchased it yet, what the hell are you waiting for?


3)Best Viral Video: I mean come on, is there really any competition here?



Sweet Brown, I love you. You can make me smile even when I was down. I think you did that for alot of people. I have always have time for you Sweet Brown!!


4)Best Meal in Cleveland: When Sue Klika took me to Momocho for the first time. I have never been a guacamole fan but their's? Holy smokes. You can check them out on Diners, Drive Ins and Dives in the below video. And the scallops I had? SOme of the best ever. And their margaritas? Arrrrrrrrrrriba!




5)Favorite Sports Moment: This is pretty easy........when the Browns beat the Steelers in November. Oh God I hate them. Everything about them. Their colors, their fans, their stupid QB. And yes I know Big Turd wasn't playing but I don't care if Eric the Midget was playing quarterback: WE BEAT THE STEELERS! Now can we beat them twice in one season? Probably not. But I will take this one.



6)Best TV Show- Not Reality : American Horror Story. As messed up as this show is, it's brilliant. It is definitely one of those shows you have to pay attention to. If you have a short attention span, forget about it. But if you like to be creeped out and enjoy twists and turns, you need to check this out. And you really should watch it for Jessica Lange alone because besides Meryl Streep, Jessica is one of the best actresses ever.



7)Best TV Show-Reality: It has to be the Real Housewives franchise. Pick any of them. OC, Beverly Hills......Iraq. I do not care. You love drama--they give you drama. You want need to laugh? Laugh your ass off. Sometimes when life hands you a shitty hand, you need to escape. These women do that for me. I don't want to hear about politics and bullshit like that. I want to remove myself from my own garbage and be entertained for an hour.




8) Best Movie:



No need to adjust your monitor. There is no award for best movie of the year because they all sucked.

9)Worst Movie: Piranha 3DD. Ok the first one was entertaining. It was a gore fest, had a decent story, etc. This piece of crap. OMG. It was probably one of the worst movies I have ever seen. And I watch alot of crap on the SyFy channel. Fortunately, I did not pay for this gem. A friend brought it over on DVD(Yes he actually bought this). You know how some movies are so bad they are great? I.E Showgirls? Well this was so bad it was just bad. And David Hasselhoff was in it. Need I say more?




10) Favorite Moment of The Year: Making the decision NOT to go through chemo again. I can't even tell you how completely devastated I was when I found out that I had a small amount of cancer in a node. Devastated wasn't a strong enough word. Ruined. Completely ruined. But then when my doctor told me the percentages I felt like I won the lottery. I seriously could have skipped out of Siedman Cancer Center.





I am finally off tomorrow and I am going to enjoy a day to myself. Heading to the gym early then shopping, lunch and a few drinks.

Have a great weekend everyone!

XOXO
B

"The Great Escape"

When I heard about the Kansas City Chief player, Jovan Belcher, killing himself and his girlfriend over the weekend, I was shocked. But then I heard about Eric Eucker, who worked for the Browns for 10 years, killing himself at the Browns training camp in Berea, and I was saddened. Eric was younger then me. Graduated from Olmsted Falls High School in 1989.

I started thinking how bad could it be that someone would do such a thing? And then I thought of the Pink song, "The Great Escape" which discusses having to help someone who is going through a rough time and making sure they don't harm themselves. I urge you to watch the above video and listen to the lyrics.

Life is never easy. We all have our issues and some hide them better than others. I was listening to a conversation about both young men at a bar yesterday. One struck me as interesting. They were discussing Jovan Belcher:

"Why would someone who has millions of dollars do that?"
"He played in the NFL how could he go and do that. He had EVERYTHING"

I am not sure why people think because he played in the NFL and was a millionaire he is not allowed to have any problems. Or mental issues. Or addiction issues. Do only poor people suffer from depression? We have this weird belief that those who are famous and/wealthy should be perfect. Having money does not mean you have sanity. It does not mean you have proper coping skills if there is an issue you have to deal with in your life.

I never knew Eric Eucker but I have friends who did know him. They said he was very nice. It is sad that he felt he had no other options. I think it is vital that each of us take the time from our busy days and reach our to our friends to see how they are doing. The holidays are very hard on many people for different reasons. Some have very bad memories of things that have happened to them around the holidays in their personal lives. So if you know of someone like this, just check in on them. Allow them to know that if they need anything they can count on you. Invite them to your house for the holidays if they are alone. Just reach out.

I dont know why I decided to write this blog. But sometimes I feel the need to talk about something other than cancer. It saddens me that someone felt they had no other way to get through life other than to end it. Both of these young men have families who now have to go through the holidays grieving. I dont wish that on anybody. I can not imagine what they are going through and I hope I never have to.

XOXO-
B