Tubthumping

I know. You are probably like Tubthumping? What the hell is that? These lyrics just keep going through my brain since Sunday night:

I get knocked down, but I get up again
You are never gonna keep me down


You may have heard the Cleveland Cavaliers won the 2016 NBA Championship. I am still in shock over it. Down 3-1 to the Golden State Warriors, the Cavs made history. They came back and won it all. THEY WON IT ALL. I can not believe I am writing those words. I sit here staring at my screen because I still do not know how to process all of this. I am almost 43 years old. In 43 years, I have never seen a Cleveland championship. FORTY THREE YEARS! I am not going to go into details about all of the heartache we have endured as Cleveland sports fans. You know it like the back of your hand. However, when you really think about it, it is just so sad that it took this long.

This is why anyone under the age of 30 will never understand. They will never truly GET it. I look at all of the people celebrating downtown Sunday night, many of them young, and I think:

"Do you appreciate what just happened?"

A life long Clevelander, I love my city. I love my sports teams. This girl is no bandwagoner. Browns. Indians. Cavs. That's in my blood. I was always taught that's who you root for. Rooting for another city's team, I am looking at you STEELER "fan", is a no no. There is one thing that Cleveland sports has taught me: It's never easy, but it's what makes us tough. Look, I get it. It's not easy rooting for the Browns. Basically 16+ years of junk football. That doesn't mean I go and root for Pittsburgh. It doesn't mean you root for Green Bay. That's the easy thing to do. That's the cowardly way out. What are you teaching your kids? You should be teaching them: Life is never easy. You dont just give up. You stick with your team. You root for the Cavs, Browns and Indians. Or you don't root at all.

Going into Game 7 I was a ball of nerves. All day. I could not focus. I had this part of me that wanted to be downtown. I had this other part of me that kept thinking, "Remember in 1997 when you were at your brothers apartment and you watched the Indians lose the World Series?". To this day, that was the toughest Cleveland loss ever. It was painful. It took me weeks to get over. So I didnt want to have to go through the disappointment again. That's the Cleveland fan in you. Always thinking the worst. I couldn't fathom being downtown and going through that let down. Even with a 4 point lead with 10 seconds to go Sunday night, I kept thinking , "How are we going to screw this up?".

When the clock hit zero, I didn't know what to do with myself. It's like I blacked out for a moment. I started crying. Brian started crying. Is this real? Is this a dream? Did that just happen? Oh it happened.

Enjoy this Cleveland. Relish in the moment. Do not take this for granted. To every person out there, I truly mean this. Drink every drop of that champagne. You never know when it will happen again.

I love you Cleveland-
-B

"Further"

Gosh I haven't blogged in so long I almost forgot I even still had this. Life has been crazy and quite honestly the last thing I feel like doing after an almost 12 hour work day is turn on a computer.

I started thinking about why I originally started this blog in the first place and it was because I needed a place to put my thoughts, my anger, my sadness and happiness all in once place. When I was diagnosed again with breast cancer in 2012, I just had to put my thoughts down. I look back at those posts and I can see how angry, frustrated and sad I was. And I look where I am now, and I am just so removed from those days. That's why I titled this blog "Further" and had to , of course, post the video of one of my favorite singers Griffin House's song "Further". Plus, I mean, who doesnt want to stare at him :)

I never thought there would be a day in my life that I didnt think about cancer. It took my life over. I couldnt stop thinking about it. I was pissed off at the world. And who could blame me, quite honestly. Those that told me not to dwell on it or I should move on with my life were right to a certain degree. However, until you have cancer you cant tell how people how they should react or feel. You have to go through pain, the anger and the sadness in your own way. And if that means being pissed off at the world, so be it. Is it healthy to react that way? Absolutely not. But everyone deals with things differently. I had to go through the process. I am an emotional person. I take things personally. And I took getting cancer, not once but twice, as the ultimate slap in the face.

These days I don't really think about cancer and my previous situations. And when people find out what I have been through they cant believe it. I look at it this way: It happened. I got through it. It made me a stronger person. It helped me realize what a strong person I actually am and how I can deal with anything that is put in my way. No obstacle stands a chance against my strength, my determination and my sense of humor. Because let's be honest here: You have to have a sense of humor to be able to withstand the bullshit that cancer brings into your life.

I wish I could find more time to blog but honestly it wont be about cancer anymore. I am no longer in that mindspace so I feel the words are just empty. I will, however, be happy to give you my opinions on such topics as The Duggar's, Donald Trump, midgets and creepy dolls......

XOXO
B-