"Rain"

Perfect song on a gloomy day like this........seriously I am wearing a Toledo hoodie in June people!


I havent posted much lately. Mostly because, believe it or not, I havent had too much to say. So this blog is just going to be an update of where I am at right now physically and mentally.

In about a month, I have my first appointment with my new OBGYN who I will discuss my hysterectomy with with her, go over my options and, hopefully, schedule something for December. Once this is done, fingers crossed, this will be the last of my surgeries for a long ass time. I am scheduled for a shot of Lupron in July then my last one would be in October. I am really just looking forward to being done with all of this shit to be honest.

This past week I went to my support group at the Gathering Place for the first time in a few months. It is tough to go at times. Sometimes I just need to walk away from the stories but then I feel bad if I dont go. This past one was very difficult. So many horrible stories to hear. One that stuck with me was the girl who was a leukemia survivor but was in heart failure from her chemo. She then finds out she has breast cancer. The story affected me greatly. It made me question many things. People in my life. Religion. Everything.

I am not a religious person by any means. And if you are reading this and you are thats fine. I just have a hard time believing that "God" would continue to allow some of the crap I see. Has this poor girl not been through enough? I do not want this blog post to be some religious bashing or become an argument. I just have a hard time believing that God allowed Ariel Castro to torture, beat, and rape 3 women for 10 years and then gives cancer TWICE to people who are good people. Nobody can explain to me why this would be allowed. And even if you think you can justify that, please save your breath. There is nothing you can say that will justify that ever to me.

Completely on another topic, I started a low carb/high protein diet. I hate to say NO CARBS because its just not realistic. I am not eating any carbs for breakfast, lunch or dinner. Howevever, if I go out I will have them. I figure that if I can be good at home and at work, that is a winning battle in itself. I do feel a difference the past 2 weeks. My challenge is at home at night. I love chips, popcorn, etc. I just can not have them in my house. So its been sugar free fudgescicles or ricotta cremes(YUMMY!). So far so good!! I do not weigh myself because I will obsessed with it. Then I get pissed at the damn scale and eat everything in sight. I am totally an emotional eater. So dont ask me how much weight I have lost. I wont know. I will just know by the way my clothes feel.

Hmm what else? Vacation to South Carolina with the familia is in August. Really looking foward to that. Beach, sun, laughs and beer. Then in October will be Vega$. We got our Buffett tix at the MGM Grand and I am really looking forward to celebrating my 40th(a little late but thats ok!). Other than that, I am just kicking back and enjoying my summer. This summer wont be ruined from cancer!

Have a great weekend everyone!

XOXO
B