"Sand & Water"

I dont know how anybody listens to "Sand & Water" and doesnt cry. The song is about the singer/songwriter, Beth Nielsen Chapman's, loss of her husband, Ernest, to cancer. I remember hearing this song when my aunt died of breast cancer and it just has always stuck with me. Beth is a also a breast cancer survivor.


Wednesday I went to a memorial service for a friend who passed away from breast cancer on July 7th. Sharon was a woman who I met at the Gathering Place at my Young Women with Breast Cancer support group. Sharon was from England and I always admired her spunk. She told you like it was. No bullshit. No nonsense. Just honest. It made me laugh how she would swear in her accent but she did it in a way that was so nice. I was saddened to hear the news of her passing. Shocked actually.

Sitting in the memorial Wednesday, I looked at her family. Her daughter is 4 and her son is 6. I watched them. And I thought, "They are just too young to be living without their mother". As the pictures of her family scrolled on the screen, I watched intently. What I learned from those pictures was how much love she had for her family. How she lived every day like it would be her last. Sharons diagnosis was not good. She knew this. So she made the most out of her last days on this earth. I admire that in her.

Listening to David give a eulogy on Sharon was beautiful. The love these two shared was obvious. But it was also heartbreaking to hear. It makes you think about your life. What would people say about me if I died? Would people have positive things to say about me? Did I do enough in this world to warrant respect?

Below is a poem by David Harkins that was read at the service. I have never heard it before but I thought it was just simply beautiful:


She Is Gone


You can shed tears that she is gone
or you can smile because she has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back
or you can open your eyes and see all she has left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see her
or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember her and only that she's gone
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back

or you can do what she would want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.





I hope everyone has a great weekend. Be safe, enjoy your friends & family and do so with a smile on your face.

XOXO
B

"Feeling Good"

Hope everyone had a great 4th of July. Mine was super busy and fantastic. It started off on Wednesday. I had 2 doctor appointments that day. My first one was with Dr Zanotti who is now my new OBGYN. This is where the guys should be warned:




This is where I talk about girly things so either bypass this paragraph or keep on reading I wanted to discuss with her my options of either a hysterectomy(removing all of my girly parts) or an oophorectomy(removal of just the ovaries). The reason is because breast cancer is linked to ovarian cancer. My doctor explained to me that while she would do a hyserectomy on me, there was no link between uterine cancer and breast cancer. Also, one of the possible things that can happen to you if you have a hyserectomy is that your bladder can drop. Ummm excuse me? That being said I am opting for the oophorectomy which will be December 19th. It is a relatively easy surgery. I will be taking off December 19th until January 2nd though. I figure that gives me more than enough time for recovery.


My second appointment was immmediately after with Marla who is my onco nurse. Good news is I am 6 pounds down in a month plus blood pressure was down. At first I was a little upset, I felt for sure it was more. But to be fair, I had not weighed myself since April so it very well could be more. I did not change my diet and exercise habits until June 1. That being said I was still happy with my progress. I also had my second to last shot. My last shot will be October 3rd and no more are needed since I will be having my ovaries removed. I have been asked am I okay with that considering that means I will never be able to have children and truthfully I am. Look, kids apparently were never in my cards. I am almost 40 and have dealt with more health issues in my 39 years than many people who are twice my age. I am lucky to be even typing this blog. I am fortunate to have a great niece and nephew. What more can I ask for?

Speaking of my nephew, I took him for his "Fun Day" on Friday. We got the Cleveland Natural History Museum as there is a shark exhibit there and my nephew really is interested in sharks(thanks to me and my brothers fascination with the best movie ever.. "Jaws").




He enjoyed the exhibit and really liked the live animals that they have outside(everything from a fox, bobcat, bald eagle, etc). Which there was a funny conversation in the animal exhibit. We were walking around and there was a cutout of a bison behind us:

Aidan: "Oh my god I thought that was real!"

Me: "Good thing its not. I run slow!"

Aidan: "You do? I run slower than Jason Giambi!"


I dont know where this kid comes up with this stuff but it cracked me up. And Indians fans will understand that dialogue! After that I took him to Paninis for lunch where he scarfed down some cheesey bacon fries and some pizza. This is when he told me he was saving room for dessert as Friendlys was on our way back home. We stopped at Friendlys and the kid polished off about 75% of a 3 scoop ice cream sundae. All in all it was a great day and alot of fun. I really cherish moments like this as the kids are growing up so fast!

I hope everyone had a fantastic 4th. Life is great!

XOXO-
B